“Lois , its not every Tom, Dick and Harry you should call your friend” said my mum most of the times. I heard these lines a lot while growing up. Well my day was still more of an indoor affair. You know that moment when you feel you’ve reached a certain internal peak and your just quite non-challant towards every serious thing that comes your way. That’s how I’ve been for some days now, mostly educational wise am like (lecturers please a sister needs a break).

So yesterday, I eventually showed up for the radio program am signed to after a long while ( I kept a sober attitude cause i just took a sabbatical without informing anybody) and that’s messed up. The topic meant to be discussed on air was FRIENDSHIP am like (okay, fine, will do). Three people went on air and then there was an anchor. So we all gave our definitions of friendship but I picked out a word in the girls definition. She said “friendship is intentional”

Bringing it home, a question was raised.. How do you pick a friend? I remember vividly when i was much younger my friends would ask me( thinking of it now am laughing), Lois you have so much friends how do you make friends? I’d be like, its easy just walk up to them and tell them please I like you and I want you to be my friend. I guess that stops walking for us as we advance in age except on rare occasions when you see someone you really like and deep down you just determine in your heart that this person must be your friend. Sometimes, it might just get too much and your like(screw it) am going to meet this person. I do it sometimes though, very intentional attachment to someone but for sometime now I don’t think I’ve worked up to anybody to say, I really like you, can we be friends. Yes, that may sound strange to you but well that’s Lois.

So back to the radio program, a question was raised as to how we make friends. My mother can be way over sometimes. She told me there is a difference between a well wisher and a friend (this cracks me up every now and then) but the deep reality is that its the truth. On the other hand, i cant go about calling people I relate with on the surface level, hi well wisher (I mean it doesn’t make sense) . She totally didn’t mean that in the literal sense though.

The thing is, okay let me try to categorize it. Make friends according to your personality match, make friends that are higher than you( intellectually, and every you can learn), make friends that you think will bring the best out of you, make friends that you feel will sit you up. I think with all of these your good to go but then not forgetting the negative aspect. Thing is if your personality match is on the negative and you have a negative friend those other friends with different qualities as aforementioned, are meant to check you. In other words, your friend cycle is meant to be strong and positively varied.

Friends are part of our existence because no man can live in isolation. Just make a positive choice. Its funny how I don’t think I have a friend on the same personality match as me (I’ll go a hunting). Bottom line, a friend can be more than a brother and some friends in the real sense are family. Just do you, no pretense and hypocricy the right friend will come around and you’ll be fine.