LIKE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN

Today was really a hectic day. In fact, saying it was hectic is really an understatement. So, I’m going to sound like a typical Nigerian today with “Nigerian slangs and “Nigerian Grammar” [trust me we have our own grammar]. Firstly, I would skip to the part where we just crossed the Nigerian boarder and we were trying to get across to Benin proper, the man in charge wanted bribe [corruption though]. I have to say the story, basically we didn’t have to pay the man anything because I mean, he is been paid his salary.

Eventually, we each gave him a thousand [naira] and he asks for double the amount. Two offences in one, greed and corruption. Just imagine, on my right you are demanding money. Not like my details were not in check. In my mind, I’m like [that’s why people will never grow and will keep being backward] The only part I liked was when he singled out my passport and had to pronounce my name. [Me smiling, they always ask for the pronunciation of my name T-A-R-I-K-A-B-O-R L-O-I-S. Well, I’m proudly Nigerian, Rivers State to be precise. SHOUTOUT!!! to all the Rivers people in the house.

Then there was this girl at the boarder too, they didn’t want to let her pass because she had not yet bribed the officer. The woman even went ahead to stay she was going to beat the girl with a big stick. The Nigerian spirit in the girl came out. These were her words ” You think say I be Beninoise, I go show you for here“. She later paid the bribe and the woman let her pass.

Moving on, fast forward to the immigration area, so there was this man at the immigrations office, he asked to see our co-ordinator. Our co-ordinator eventually came and I was close to them, so I was just listening to their conversation. It was obvious from the way he was talking that he just wanted money too. At least this one was not demanding, he was just trying to buy his way into our coordinators heart. He was so professional, that’s how you know them sometimes. I forgot to add, [unnecessarily professional]. Though he was saying some things that make sense.

The road trip was really something though. Then the journey from the boarder to our residence almost took forever. I was even tired of sleeping. Immediately, we got to our destination, we tried to arrange our stuffs, get a sim card and get it registered. Then we had to start looking for how to get hooked into our social life. Not to mention the huge favour embodied human being that God sent our way. He helped us so much without taking a dime.

At first, my French was very rusty, like rusty and we couldn’t hook up to the internet to connect to a translator. The struggle was quite real though, using hand gestures and all of that just to communicate, speaking “FRANGLAIS” [French and English], which definitely does not exist. Basically, that was about today. Still in a light mood, I thank God for journey mercies and safety. Keep enjoying your day people.

P.S

Check out my new column coming up in a bit #the real lois # [ T.R.L ].