Hello people, so I have this friend that always checks up on me to know if I’m doing good and all of that. Then today we were just having random conversations and she said she wanted to send something to me and I should please use it for my blog that she wanted her story to cause a mentality change. She inspired this post and these were her words.
Lois so it’s no news to you that we’re only two in my family, me and my younger sister. Growing up, I was the one always made to do all the chores..I mean everything was me. My mum will give me the story of how she started serving her father at a very early age and well I grew with that but what was very painful and disturbing was the fact that it wasn’t like I was the only child, I had a sister who did next to nothing at home. She’ll wake up whenever she wanted during weekends and make her food then sit in front of the television while I still did all the work. Now common sense demands that you assist with something.
The painful part was that my mum will see all these but won’t say anything. The few times she talked, I felt it was just to fulfil all righteousness. Now here’s the funny part, I did all the work like common you know how majority of the girls in our generation are, and then she’ll still come and tell me that I was a spoilt child and did not know anything. That baffled me though. It was really annoying how she wanted to watch me and point fingers and correct but never to my sister and trust African mother’s they can talk for Africa.
I’m human and for long I’ve always felt this bias attitude. The one that recently broke the camels back was when she found my sister sleeping through out the morning and only laughed about it. It hit me real bad because I not only felt like the maid but she would never let this happen with me and my sister was way old enough. I was pained.
So I retreated to myself..I just wanted to be alone do all my work and just keep to myself. You see how African parents can be, then they started getting worried. They’ll shout and talk but it didn’t change the fact that I still wanted to be alone. Then just yesterday I was asleep when my mum came back from work but the food was already made and it was just to dish it. Eventually i didn’t supervise that. Then this morning my dad asks “what did your mum eat yesterday” and I’m like “I don’t know” he goes on “you mean you didnt serve her food” I’m liķe “I was asleep” he continues “this is why she’s always talking…” and I intercept saying my sister could have done it and it was as if the world wanted to come to an end and he says “no…never..she’ll learn from you” and I wanted to continue in self -defence but I kept quiet.
Lately I said I wanted to be alone, I’ve been trying to find a judgemental balance were I do all the work and everything without complaining but it hit me today. In my self-defence did I find my mother’s words. Directly in my mouth. “Is she not of age, does anybody need to tell her” and I always say to myself that I’m never going to use my mother’s approach.
Then it hit me “Reverse psychology”. That I should think and calm down before I act. Yes I’m human I’m meant to transfer the anger of all these years to my sister but then I would have succeded in being a type 2 of my mother. So I’m drafting out my plan.
Basically, that’s how some life issues are. We find ourselves in situations where we want people to suffer like we did and treat people the way we were treated but then you pause and ask yourself “to what gain?..to what achievement?”. Search deeply and all the answers you’ll get…you’ll realize that they are rooted in unnecessary excuses that lead to no where.
Have a reverse psychology today and do what you want to do not what critical situations will make you to do. Prove to be smarter and wiser. Don’t be unnecessarily stubborn and watch things take a new turn for you.