Okay people, so here’s me thinking to myself on how to start this. A philosopher once said that “man is a selfish being” For the people who do not understand this, to the best of my interpretation he was saying that for everything we do, we do it because of what we stand to gain from it mosr of the times. Now trying to check the validity of truth in this statement with some examples on the surface level. You want to help a friend get in front of you in a queue not just because he’s your friend but because when you’re in a long queue someday and he’s ahead, he’ll return the favour. Now that’s on the surface level, let’s go a bit deeper.
Relationships: you want to love somebody and you’re in a relationship with that person, not just because you want to give out love, care and a host of other things but because you want to get it in return and feel all those sweet and lovely things. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve actually come to a conclusion which is taking sides with the philosopher. Although we have to agree that he just went all out with no sugar-coating, just very direct but let’s go a bit deeper again.
Let’s say you’ve found yourself, you’re finding you’re purpose gradually, you go through personal dilemmas and a whole lot of challenges but amidst all of that you somehow manage to keep everything together and fight your internal and emotional battles yourself without breaking or changing. Now someone out there needs you. Some people might have this mentality like “hey!..I’m trying to be strong for myself here, nobody is there for me, so I have enough problems on my own already” Well as funny as this might sound I came to announce to you that your selfishness is on a greater degree but you won’t be blamed because either you’re acting out of ignorance or the state of being only human.
It’s simple saying it though, not acting it out,don’t get me wrong. Most people are yet to realize that if they can carry themselves and they pull through for someone else who can’t, they become stronger for themselves because they get the consciousness that someone is depending on them to hold on. Hence, if they break, that one person trying to find his footing and looking up to them has a very great chance of breaking too. So the unconscious responsibility already falls on you.
Now to wrap this up, selfishness might want to surface through pride. When you see that person rising up and becoming a better person and you start going all about saying he wouldn’t have been able to stand because of you. You want to bask in your achievement and get all the accolades and praise.
In all truth, seeing that person standing on his own is achievement more than enough because deep down that person might never say it out but will be forever grateful.
In all, trying to be strong for yourself and someone else is quite hard because you’re the persons anchor. It could even be people all depending on you and trust me you’ll get weak and tired and want to give up. Then you ask yourself who Is your own anchor? who are you drawing strength from? and what are you getting your strength through?. I’ll leave that to you to answer.