FORGIVENESS?

Heyy guyss… it’s Friday. This is going to be the last post you’ll see in like 3 weeks cause I have a lot of things to handle so I thought I should drop this here. Middle of this month, something hit me really bad and one of the things I’m trying do here is to be genuine, real and sincere with you guys on the things that I choose to talk about it because the things that bother on our feelings can be different with people but trust me different people still share similarities to how they deal with pain, hurt, love, betrayal, lost… the list is long but you just name it.

Simply put, I’ll say that to forgive is to LET GO of whatever someone has done to hurt your feelings. One of the things I’ve learnt this year from a close friend and I studied more about it is that “YOUR FEELINGS MATTER”. How you choose to heal from your pain matters and definitely how you choose to forgive people matters and you should validate yourself in that.

Often times, people hurt you and you hear someone say; just let it go, it’s never that deep, he or she will make up for it…and sometimes you’re not sure and you just succumb to the pressure and shrug your shoulders like “oh well”. NO NO NO STOP DOING THAT!

I’ll use myself as an example. It’s funny how I can cry like a baby over movies that are not even soo emotional🤦🏽‍♀️ but when it comes to real hurt; NOPE, I try my best to suck it in(and trust me I’m good) So if I can’t suck it and I cry over it … Now that’s some deep sh** . Once I dry my tears, my heart just became the most hardened, I’m blocking you, deleting you, not hearing your voice, spamming your messages. YES I’M THAT DEEP. In summary, I’m letting you go, instead of letting the pain go. I’m forcing you out of the door and I’m placing that pain above you because it’s something that’s not just gonna varnish. I have to heal from it.

There’s an exception to this however, if you manage to act fast and you’re honest with me 100 percent and not just pretend like you didn’t hurt me then I COULD make considerations. I’ve come to understand me that to forgive someone, I have to withdraw and let go for some time and when I try to go contrary to this, I shoot myself in the leg. So guys, this is me telling you VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS IN FORGIVING PEOPLE BECAUSE YOUR FEELINGS MATTER AND YOU MATTER.

Whatever way works best for you in healing (that is not dangerous to human life) please do it and give yourself the peace you require. I’m not saying don’t forgive because hating on someone or being angry at someone just gives you this bitterness, what I’m saying is FORGIVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Importantly, learn yourself to know what works for you so people don’t cajole you into doing what ends up making you internally conflicted.

Have a great month ahead, remain blessed and keep basking in the love of God. 

-LOIS TARIKABOR