OPEN MARRIAGES

Hi guys, so this post was coined from one of the posts on “dairy of a naija girl” as seen on Instagram. You can read it just below👇🏽

Now let’s dissect this open marriage thing. As Ife said from DANG, question your values and if you’re comfortable with that reality oh well, but if you’re not comfortable you should have a rethink.

Please, this one hit me sha cause what…”Permission to cheat”. Like we’re really doing this? “What if you find someone you’re attracted to?”. You’re definitely going to find someone you’re attracted to other than your partner .

This generation don’t be ready and are always looking for how to cut corners. Always wanting to eat their cake and have it but “YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL”. A lot of things can always go wrong with open marriages.

We can start from “better sex” to comparing them with your partner and then you start sneaking out to get some. To getting someone pregnant and set Awon DNA test people, Voila. Oh, what about communicating family values and unity to your growing children? Same set of people 20 years down the line will talk about how society has lost it’s values but y’all be leaving your contribution to the dilapidated society out of it. Someone spell “hypocrisy” with a capital H cause I think I’m getting it all wrong.

The way this generation makes excuse for emotional indiscipline sometimes is beyond me. Talmbout it’s not easy, sex with one person for the rest of your life… Well excuse me, you work your butt everyday to build streams of income, build your brand, be successful and no matter how much you can diplomatically say you’re living for others, the credit always come to you. So why do all these things to stay on top of your game, social circle and influence in life?

Stop letting indiscipline blind and deceive you. As success is hard work to attain, same goes for emotional maturity. Nothing good comes easy. It’s fine if that’s how you want to live your life. Just don’t complain when the consequences start playing out and please don’t let anyone manipulate you to settling for a life you’re not comfortable with because in the long run, it’ll leave you emotionally frustrated and bitter. Your type is out there.

11 comments

  1. Well said. Everyone have the right to choose their line of actions. However this one ehhh is not something I’d ever advise anybody to do. The negatives outweigh any possible perceived benefits. It’s a No No for me

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Then 2 i think she should stick to the guy but let the guy know that she doesn’t fancy the idea it’s a shit load of an idea
    But I’m guessing he felt shes his comfort space and he can Express himself around her🤷🏾‍♂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First, every relationship is different and every marriage has what works for them and what doesn’t, many people have secret sexual fantasies; while for some others they prefer threesome, some others prefer bdsm, some might prefer roleplays; all of these sounds crazy and too extra to some people, basically knowing what works for you both and communicating perfectly is the answer. Open marriages with closed emotions works for some couples, some even enjoy watching their partners participate in sexual activities with a stranger, your point is clearly stated but also couples who practice it and enjoy it have a well stated point also, it’s an agreement and would be wrong if after an agreement it’s still referred to as cheating. What are your thoughts on open book exams then?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Valid points,
      Very valid
      However, I personally feel the world has become so subjective and the hypocritical side of it is that we make excuses for ourselves and forget to extend that grace to others.
      Do what works for you but if someone else does it that leads to complications and things going south and hurting people, leaving them damaged and they can in then damage other people emotionally.
      That we can handle some situations well Doesn’t mean we always will. Now everybody wants to do them and that’s fine.
      But let’s look at the broader perspective. The rate of cheating is already enough, the narrative that the institution of marriage is a ideological and can’t really work is already being sold through things like open marriages. In our not so far future, what happens to themes such as family values and true love?
      Subjectivity won’t always work in this case except you plan on not having kids because they’re going to learn. We fail to forget that some of the lifestyles we selfishly pick can automatically raise damaged children as a norm.

      Like

      1. Marriage is a commitment, sex is a game and both has rules, same goes with open marriages; set the rules and stick to it. Cheating can occur in open marriages too but open marriage itself isn’t cheating and should not be classified as a factor that encourages cheating, it’s a sexual fantasy agreed by 2 romantically committed partners. Cheating means breaking the rules, if no rule is broken and both adults still consent to it, then that’s it, it has its problems but so does marriage itself, every decision we make has it’s advantages and disadvantages. On the idea of open marriage, I think it one shouldn’t be forced or blackmailed to accept it, it’s either you say a No or you say a Yes.
        In regards to the post, the lady should say No as already it doesn’t sit well with her. Open marriages doesn’t support cheating, people cheat because they can’t stick to the rules of marriage “commitment” and various other factors, children necessarily don’t need to be involved in their parents sexual life or know what’s going on behind the bedroom doors. If you stay true to the game, the game will stay true to you too….

        Like

      2. I agree with some of your points and I disagree with some. Expected because we’re different.
        Regardless, valid points still.

        Like

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