One of the hardest realities that could ever hit you is to come to terms with the fact that your definition of perfection is flawed.
There’s grief first, then have you met denial? You’re wondering how it’s all happening, you’re trying to retrace your thoughts , you’re trying to go down memory lane whilst getting hurt in the process.
Sometimes you’re looking for answers that you’ll never find. Your questions in the first place have already been answered but they don’t seem to satisfy you because you think they’re not justifiable enough. They don’t help you regain your sanity instantly and so it looks like your mind is going through cycles of insanity while you’re just there laughing, looking, being quite or just numb. The only thing that plays out in your head is “make it make sense”
I just described a cycle of loss, intense loss that causes deep hurt. So you’ve put your ideologies, priorities, lifestyle, principles together and defined what perfection is to you. Then the universe throws situations beyond your control your way, changes your reality and tells you that your definition of perfection is flawed and You’re supposed to do what?
Learn, Re-learn, Un-learn…You’re supposed to deal with hurt, change your ways and accept that you couldn’t control it without a fight? You’re supposed to just give up, let go or submit against your will… What’s the saying about life and fairness again?
Maybe one can unlearn, learn and grow. So I don’t think it’s that. It’s the feeling that we won’t always be in control. But it’s life and if I were in control all the time, why then would I need God?