So this is not going to be a conventional post. There’s going to be some gist here and there to satisfy the amebo spirit in you and to let you know that you’re not alone in your struggles. I honestly didn’t want to share because it’s a very personal journey but it’s been on my heart for sometime now. Hence, beyond wanting you to learn, I’m sharing for days that I’ll be hard and I’ll need to look my words back in my face.
Yes, Disclaimer: I’m not perfect, I’m not saying I’ll never fall short but this is just were I’m currently at with this journey.
I got into this year with zero plans, a lot of hurt, broken and hopes dashed. So when I gained the courage to start praying and things started to take shape, I knew I wanted things to be different. One day I got angry out of the blues. I had just come back from a photo shoot and I was looking at this picture.
Hah, God you mean a human being can be perfect to this degree: [ I’m beautiful, I take care of myself, I cook, I’m ambitious, I have focus, I’m independent, I create my own happiness, I follow Jesus, I’m chasing my dreams, I go all out for my friendships, I no dey stress person…] everything looks good, I’m on the right path. But something along just pops up each year in form of one male drama or another that just crashes my emotions, makes me hurt a lot and not only delays my progress but reduces my potential. I was genuinely angry with myself because [ person no dey even see head for the man drama, na so so chest pain and breakfast I Dey collect]
It was at this point in February I told myself that I wanted to do things differently this year. I made up my mind to experiment SOLELY with God then I’ll compare the difference with my other years that I’ve been inconsistent. At this point, I hadn’t finalized the decision but sometime towards the end of May as a result of my walk with God , I felt the strong leading of the spirit to put a word seal on it and in June I did.
In the course of this chaste journey, I’ve been really intentional in knowing more of God for me, exploring ways to be chaste and understanding submission. True submission to God which is DEATH TO SELF. I stumbled upon a tweet and the lady was explaining how she sees fornication and she said as a single lady “To me, God is my husband, till he hands me over to whoever he has ordained for me, being with other men is cheating to God” You guys, my perspective turned!
To back this up, I was reading my Bible one day and saw in Hosea 2:16 “In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me my husband, you will no longer call my master” I kept this one and started being intentional about this perspective then I started understanding submission to God.
That as believers, the life we live is not our own, and if we say we want the full benefits of redemption, we cannot be partial in submitting to the provisions that make for redemption which is ALL OF GOD AND NONE OF YOU. So anything God says in his word IS NOT DEBATABLE! The command is to OBEY and eat the good of the land. This has been one of the hardest pill to swallow for me because it requires TOTAL BROKENNESS!