Hi guys…so I’m a day late with my international “feminine” day but here goes.
What actually comes to your mind when you here any word related to the feminine gender? “girl, female, lady, queen, sister, mother, woman”. Well, here’s what comes to my mind…
Period pains, child birth, labor, motherhood, rape, sacrifice, sexual abuse, strength, fear , authority, prayerful, submissive, domestic violence.
A lot of people that KNOW ME FROM A DISTANCE call me a feminist and It’s like “don’t give me a name I didn’t give myself. I believe so much in balancing gender roles and fighting for equal rights that EVERY individual is entitled to by virtue of being a human irrespective of the GENDER. However, I can’t be in an extreme advocacy for feminism because it can be toxic. How toxic?
I’ll reduce my generalization and say if you take a closer look, 80% of girls now turned ladies and women had cases of sexual abuse or violence that they carry about in their heart. It has made some bitter, scared inwardly, unable to express themselves, wasted, emotionally dead, etc.
From the little girl hawking, to the lady looking for a job, to the young woman raped “for wearing skimpy clothes”, to the woman who gets beaten up by her husband and called names before her children, to the woman who tolerates her cheating husband for fear of what society will say if she gets a divorce, the prostitute in the motel, the compulsory vixen used in music videos to sell out, to the woman who has no inheritance because tradition says so, to the woman who has to drink the the water used to wash her husband’s corpse…the list is long.
Well, my emotional health can’t take it all because I’m a woman. Most of these things and a host of others sadly can NEVER change, they can only be reduced to the bearest minimum. It’s left for women to bond, educate, help and reach their fellow women. It’s time to create that sisterly love that’ll help in our liberation.
To all the girls, ladies, women…keep holding on, brace yourself up, grow in strength and know that you’ll be fine. Don’t give up or throw your dreams away for any man, stand for what you believe in and be consistent. The world is indeed a large place for every body to shine. That “you’re a woman”, is not an excuse. There’s a lot to say maybe I’ll do a series some other time but for now, “keep loving you”.
TGIF GUYS…ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.
-LOIS TARIKABOR
Inspiration with Lois| Lifestyle | Nigeria 